These Advice shared by My Parent Which Rescued Me during my time as a First-Time Dad

"I think I was simply trying to survive for twelve months."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to manage the challenges of becoming a dad.

However the actual experience soon proved to be "completely different" to his expectations.

Severe health issues during the birth resulted in his partner Louise being hospitalised. Suddenly he was forced into becoming her chief support as well as caring for their infant son Leo.

"I took on every night time, every nappy change… each outing. The role of mother and father," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he became exhausted. That was when a conversation with his parent, on a park bench, that led him to understand he couldn't do it alone.

The direct words "You are not in a healthy space. You need some help. How can I help you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, ask for help and find a way back.

His experience is far from unique, but rarely discussed. Although society is now better used to addressing the stress on moms and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the struggles fathers face.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan believes his difficulties are part of a larger reluctance to open up among men, who continue to absorb damaging notions of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just takes the pounding and remains standing with each wave."

"It is not a display of weakness to request help. I was too slow to do that soon enough," he clarifies.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, explains men often don't want to admit they're finding things difficult.

They can believe they are "not a legitimate person to be asking for help" - especially ahead of a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental health is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad offered him the opportunity to request a respite - spending a couple of days away, outside of the domestic setting, to see things clearly.

He came to see he needed to make a adjustment to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions alongside the day-to-day duties of caring for a infant.

When he shared with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she needed" -physical connection and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has transformed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now writing Leo weekly letters about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will help his son to more fully comprehend the language of emotional life and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen did not have stable male parenting. Even with having an "incredible" bond with his dad, profound difficult experiences resulted in his father had difficulty managing and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says repressing emotions led him to make "bad actions" when in his youth to modify how he felt, turning in drink and drugs as escapism from the pain.

"You gravitate to behaviours that don't help," he explains. "They may short-term modify how you feel, but they will eventually make things worse."

Advice for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - if you feel overwhelmed, speak to a trusted person, your other half or a counsellor about your state of mind. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel less alone.
• Remember your hobbies - keep doing the things that made you feel like you before the baby arrived. Examples include exercising, meeting up with mates or gaming.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - eating well, getting some exercise and where possible, resting, all contribute in how your emotional health is faring.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - listening to their journeys, the messy ones, along with the positive moments, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Remember that seeking help is not failure - taking care of yourself is the optimal method you can look after your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen expectedly struggled to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's resolved not to "repeat the pattern" with his boy and instead provide the stability and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a tantrum, for example, they do "shaking the feelings out" together - processing the frustrations safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen say they have become more balanced, healthier men since they confronted their struggles, transformed how they express themselves, and taught themselves to control themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… processing things and dealing with things," says Stephen.

"I wrote that in a message to Leo recently," Ryan adds. "I said, sometimes I feel like my role is to guide and direct you how to behave, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am discovering as much as you are on this path."